Blog
Beginning At The End
Usually, when I talk to a new client they are in overwhelm, dealing with a flood of emotions, there is confusion and uncertainty, fear and chaos. No doubt, I was in the same boat when I went through my divorce. Yet, one question that helps temper the emotions is to have that client give careful, imaginative, and yet contemplative thought to “What is my intention for this divorce?”. This is how you handle divorce with the end in mind. In reality, I pose this question less out of “what assets do I want out of the divorce”, than it is to have my clients consider “what is the feeling tone of the relationship you’d like to have with your former spouse at the...
Read MoreUnhappiness Disease
It started with a royal headache. A friends’, not mine. He explained that he was inspired by a new movie “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead”. Now my friend is FAR from fat, sick and nearly dead. In fact, he would put the rest of us who consider ourselves ‘healthy’ to shame. He embraced the headache as a demonstration of the detox and casually quipped, “yea, just a little reboot…ya know?”. Yes, and now I am intrigued! About a week later, I was working on a volunteer project with a girlfriend and she said “hey, there’s this movie I’ve been wanting to watch if you’re interested…it’s called ‘Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead’. “You don’t...
Read MoreFreedom and Liberty
Here in the States we are well into our 4th of July weekend…BBQ’s galore, weather that beckons you to the nearest beach, lake, pool, or sprinkler and the last minute dash for sparklers. In the midst of all the parties, spray on sunscreen, and search for the most spectacular fireworks displays, our minds draw to the freedom we’ve been granted living in the U.S. However, for the last week, my conversations and work with divorcing individuals has me contemplating our personal freedoms. When I consider personal freedom, I think of Victor Frankl, the psychiatrist and author of “Man’s Search for Meaning” chronicling the horrors of concentration camp life where...
Read MoreDealing With Disneyland Dad
Driving my kids to school the other day I caught wind of a hot topic over the radio waves. Droves of moms were calling in about “disneyland dads”. You know the story. Mom has little extra cash for the high ticket playthings, travels and amusement parks and Dad sweeps in with all the bells, and whistles and pirate treasure to boot! I heard a classic story about this from an estate attorney just days before the radio show. One year for Christmas her kids had asked for scooters. She mindfully told their Dad so that they wouldn’t duplicate gifts. Yet, come Christmas morning the kids opened regular ol’ scooters from Mom, and electric powered ones from...
Read MoreConsiderations About Custody
Some days will stick out in your mind forever: the day your brother teased you and cried uncontrollably, the first kiss, the moment when you are accepted on the cheerleading team, breaking up with your first love, the instant you nailed the interview for that coveted job, walking down the aisle as a married woman, the friend you dropped everything for to support through a difficult time, the first real giggle of your new baby. All of the defining moments shape us and give us the color, depth and richness of our life, personality, and gifts. Sometimes these experiences don’t occur in a moment, but play themselves out as a process. One such experience is going...
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